Dr Uma Ukpai -Before Getting Married Part 4

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Todays teaching by Dr Uma ukpai

Men and brethren, you must deal with the weakness of your father’s house before you transfer it into your marriage. Realising that only the Holy Spirit can help us with our weakness. You must be prepared to love unconditionally. Begin from your own house, a man must love his wife. You must love your husband. Your husband may be the biggest idiot around you; the bible commands you to love him. Your wife may be the worst demon, but love her. Your love can change him or her. You must learn to be truthful in your marriage, don’t use one another’s weakness as a weapon of war when you have slight misunderstanding. Ask God for grace and wisdom to deal with every confusion and problems in your marriage.

Every lie needs another lie to cover the first lie; therefore we must learn to be truthful, even when it hurts. Crisis most times strengthens relationship. It tells us that we are human. Our needs are not many, therefore as much as you can let us live a simple life. There are things that are not beneficial even though we look for those things. Avoid whatever will lure you into sin, things that can cause depression in your marriage or gossips that can ruin a relationship. In all the battles we fight in life, you either win or lose in your mind.

The mind is the ultimate source of creation. When you think about negative things, negative things will begin to happen in your life and marriage. When your partner makes you angry don’t dwell on that anger. In marriage we must cultivate the habit of saying SORRY, PLEASE and THANK you.Until you appreciate your partner, your marriage and life will not appreciate. When your husband comes suddenly and call you stupid, remind him that you were so stupid and that was why you married him.

You must find a way to communicate your feelings without creating confusion. In my days as a single preacher, after witnessing the power of God, the girl who invited me to that service said to me no other girl would marry you but me and if you say no I will shoot you and shoot myself. So I was forced to go into one month fast, wanting to escape that trap and God delivered me. God showed me my wife in a revelation. Because we are from the same village I just told God you made a wrong choice; you should have asked me who is a good girl and it is not this girl. I did not want to tell her. In the first place, she was young at 25 years then. I didn’t want to marry a baby. As far as I know, 25 years is what you call the end of the age of confusion. I waited for two years but I told God I would marry her only on one condition. She had written a book she called, Mother I have found a man.

She walked up to me and asked me what I would do if God revealed a girl to me. I told her I will tell the girl to apply and she retorted: ‘Don’t you think you are arrogant?’ I replied, ‘No just say I have self-respect; being a preacher if I propose to you now you’ll tell the whole world that the man of God is chasing me. Then she said what if I’m the girl? I said to her; then tell me you are the person. She wrote a very beautiful book and was very honest. She said God had revealed to her that I will be her husband. We have been married for 35 years and we have quarrelled only twice; being a confirmation, an affirmation and attestation that she was the right choice. Dr Uma Ukpai. To be contd

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