Dr Uma Ukpai- Before Getting Married Part 6

Todays Teaching By Dr Uma Ukpai

 uma ukpaiWhenever we have a church full of counselees, 99.9 present would have come for one problem or the other. Some may have lost their jobs; others have shaky marriages or have been driven to seek for God because of bad health or unfruitful business. Time has come for men to look at marriage the way God looks at marriage and bringing out the high points of the Bible, showing people what the Bible says and that is that a day will come in the last minute when people will have itchy ears and not be willing to listen to sound doctrines. A man that is not happy with his marriage will think of changing his partner and we are saying that the Bible is opposed to it because you don’t change your partner or your spouse 1 Cor 7:12-13. Rom 7:3. Instead, you change yourself because to change your partner will take you changing yourself. It is amazing how men and women try to bind others because they feel they are the proper demon they see troubling their life.

If you intend to marry a woman who has no emotion, no bad attitude, no problem then we should have ordered for a robot. Therefore, do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for, the psychiatrics and the insane hospitals will help you. Boy oh boy, what counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Do you know that it is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel because they get to know each other better? We should also know that a good marriage is the union of two good forgivers. Men and brethren, a man and his wife are one. God does not recognize a man and his wife as two entities. God sees them as one. Gen 2:24. I have seen couples after getting married there are no more elements of surprise gifts. The last gift they gave each other was their wedding ring. We should have elements of surprises in marriage and gifts that will encourage the other person. But when people are hardly surprised, when people lose their capacity for emotion, then, they have become lepers because a leper has no ability to feel any pain and God uses pain to correct and instruct people.

When your nerves are all dead, you are as dead as the dead. In marriage it is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages; we should daily desire that God will heal and strengthened our marriages. Healing is restoration. Healing is God restoring the nerves of the leper and giving him the ability to feel things and to feel pain and feel cold. Healing is God restoring the gift He gave you at the beginning which you have lost through ill-health, through wrong companionship or through carelessness and recklessness. That is what we call healing and it is restoration which translates to God giving you what you lost. Healing is God granting you creative ideas to make your marriage a heaven on earth. It is therefore interesting to note that all weddings are similar, but every marriage is different, when your friends comes and tell you how sweet her marriage is, most of us will go home to create third world war in our homes. Learn to trust your partner and trust God. Anything that causes us to turn to God and lean harder on Him is an asset, not a liability. Your wife or husband is not a liability as some people think.

Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal. The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. How often do we communicate with each other, ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.

Each decision we take everyday is conceived from one of two sources; the flesh or the spirit. As such we must be alert and seek God’s guidance. The enemy may come in different guises to sidetrack us to destabilize our marriage but God will never disappoint those who put their trust in Him and have circumcised their ears and thoughts. Depend on Him in your marriage and believe in His timing, don’t rush into marriage because of peer or family pressure. He made the world out of nothing and needs no help to fix and give you a future.

 Dr Uma Ukpai

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